Cyanide in Happiness
by StudentofDust
Summary: Kenny dies in pretty much every episode, and this one is no exception. What's different, though, is that this time... he doesn't come back. And one of Kenny's biggest tormentors realizes just how much he misses him. You guess the pairings.
1. Friendship

**Author's Note: Just so I can get this out of the way… this is –completely- AU for both Kenny and Cartman. Stan and Kyle are still the same as usual.**

Winter had just settled on the sleepy little town of South Park. It hadn't begun to snow yet, so the temperature hadn't dropped _too_ much. And, as was probably expected for a day like this, the boys were out by the park, tossing the old pigskin around.

"Go long!!" Cartman yelled to Stan, as he reared back to throw the football. Stan took only a few steps before realization hit him; now, instead of going out longer, he took a few more steps towards Cartman.

"What the hell, man?" asked Cartman, lowering the football to his side. "I told you to go _long_, not to come in!! How am I supposed to throw the football a long way if you're not there to fucking catch it!!"

"Dude, come on," replied Stan. "There's no possible way you can throw it that far. We've been playing football out here at this same damn park for two years now, and you've _never_ been able to throw it far enough to constitute 'going long'."

"He's got a point," said Kyle, walking over to where Stan and Cartman were standing. "You pretty much suck at football."

Cartman's face contorted into a weird grimace. "What do you mean, I suck at football?" The boys would later swear that they could literally _see _his ego swelling. "I'm the greatest player there ever was."

Stan looked at Kyle, Kyle looked at Kenny… then all three of them burst into laughter. Kenny's laughter so regaled him, he fell on the ground, rolling around uncontrollably. Stan and Kyle managed to keep upright, though not by much.

The look on Cartman's face at this point was priceless. "What?" he asked, obviously not knowing why everyone was laughing so hard. "What's so funny?"

Kyle had just about exhausted his laughter by now, so he was the first one to speak. "Do you seriously not know why we're laughing? Your ego is fucking bigger than _you_, man, and that's really saying something." The three of them all found Kyle's last comment to be very funny, and their roaring laughter began again.

"Stupid Jew," was all Cartman's retort consisted of. He tossed the football to the ground, then stormed off in anger.

Kenny stopped laughing suddenly, glancing over at Cartman leaving. "Should we really have done that?" he asked.

Now, Stan and Kyle ceased their laughter. "What do you mean, Kenny?" asked Kyle.

"We give him enough shit the way it is," Kenny responded. "We all know he's not good at practically everything he does. And I think he knows it. Do we really have to remind him of his inconsistencies, every time we get the chance?"

Stan and Kyle nervously glanced at each other; usually, Kenny takes part in whatever teasing the others were putting Cartman through. God knew how much shit Kenny had been through at the hands of Cartman's harsh words. Why was he sticking up for him now?

Kyle was the first to mention this. "Why are you sticking up for him? He's just an arrogant fat-ass."

Kenny looked at his two friends, and they could both see that he was completely serious. "Because… I know how it feels to have your every move ridiculed." Kenny turned and walked away, leaving Stan and Kyle standing there in the park, utterly speechless.

-----

Kenny wasn't sure at that point whether he wanted to go home, or… what he wanted to do. Finally, he decided to head over to the local comic shop, see if they had anything he wanted to read. So, he began the mile and a half walk to the shop.

Kenny loved times like these, when he was all alone and walking along the road; he could just zone out and think about things- no annoying Cartman to make fun of him for being poor, no Kyle reminding Cartman about how much of a fatass he was, no Stan trying in vain to get the two to stop fighting… it was just him and the rest of the world.

"Stupid Jew…" Kenny stopped, holding his breath; had he really heard Cartman's most famous phrase? Was the boy whom he thought to be his best friend, really somewhere near? And if he wasn't… why would his voice come into his head, at _this_ time?

"I fucking hate them. _ALL OF THEM!!!_" Now, Kenny was sure he'd heard Cartman's voice. He stayed quiet, trying to pinpoint where exactly Cartman's voice was coming from. All he needed was one more word, and he could-

"Oh, god_damn_ it!!" Kenny turned to his left, and sure enough, there was Cartman, sitting on the embankment, staring out at the trees, covered in-

"Fire ants!!" Kenny quickly realized that Cartman was absolutely _covered_ in ants- and that he could die if enough ants released their poison into him. The thought of all the things Cartman had did to him, didn't even come into his mind. All Kenny knew was that one of his friends was in trouble, and he was going to save him.

"I'm coming!!" he yelled, running out into the middle of the road, not even caring if there were any cars coming- which, it turned out, there were. And they swerved, to avoid hitting the short kid in the orange parka. One of the cars careened off the road, passing over the same spot that Kenny had stood only a moment before, watching Cartman as the ants engulfed his body.

Soon, Kenny was at Cartman's side. Frantically, he brushed the ants away from Cartman's body, but more replaced the ones that he flung into the distance. _Oh, goddamn it, please let all these ants go away…_

Kenny would never know if God had heard his prayer, or if the ants had, but as soon as he thought that, they began to retreat. Even Cartman, who was laying on the ground moaning, seemed to notice that the ants were no longer attacking. He looked up, trying to find who had saved his life, but his hero was already gone.

-----

Kenny made sure that Cartman had begun to walk home again, before he resumed his own trek to the comic store. _I wonder if they have the new SpiderMan comics in yet…_ he wondered.

It wasn't long before Kenny finally reached the comic book shop. He closed his eyes for a moment, briefly imagining finally getting the first copy of the new issue of _SpiderMan_- when he tripped over something rather large. He sprawled on the ground, a bit dazed.

"What the fuck?" he asked himself, looking down at the ground. His jaw dropped in horror at what he saw. The large thing that he had tripped over was an unconscious Cartman; apparently, those ant bites had finally gotten to him.

Interestingly enough, Kenny's first thought wasn't, _What's wrong with him?_ It was _How the hell did he get here before I did?_ After the initial shock wore off, though, he realized that Cartman was probably in trouble. He looked around, and noticed there was a doctor's office just a few hundred yards to the north.

Kenny looked down at Cartman's limp body. _Ah, shit… now I have to drag his… body all the way to the doctor._ He began to drag Cartman's body, slowly (very slowly) but surely. Just then, a thought occurred to Kenny: _Why didn't I call him fat-ass? He is one… Though, I did tell Kyle and Stan not to call him one…_

He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice that he'd dragged Cartman all the way to the doctor. Kenny snapped out of it, and kept pulling Cartman behind him.

The doctor's receptionist noticed them. "What happened to him?"

Kenny mumbled something, but the aide said, "Could you say that again?"

He lowered his parka just enough to get the words out. "I said, he's been bitten by a lot of fire ants and I don't think he's conscious."

The nurse picked Cartman up (with some degree of difficulty) and placed him on a stretcher, wheeling him into the back.

"See you later, Cartman," whispered Kenny. "Hope you get to feeling better soon."

Kenny exited the building, feeling quite glad at what he had done. He was thinking hard, so hard that the next thing he knew, he felt himself flying through the air, a sharp pain coursing through his body. Kenny landed with a hard _thump_, on the side of the road; he looked up, and saw the car that had just hit him, which was now speeding away from the scene. That was the last thing Kenny saw, before he blacked out.

-----

_**Two Days Later…**_

The gang was congregated at the table, laughing about some joke that Butters had just told. All of a sudden, the earth began to shake slightly, and people hurriedly put their food away, in case the hungry beast might eat their lunch.

Kyle looked into the distance. "Hey, guys. Cartman's back."

Sure enough, Cartman had just walked into the lunch room, still covered in bites; they were quickly fading, though. Cartman got his food, and came over to their table.

"Oh, God, the fat-ass is back," retorted Kyle, and everyone at the table laughed.

"Glad to see you again, too, Kyle."

Kyle looked damned shocked at this- no "stupid Jew" comment from Cartman? "What happened to you? You haven't been here for the past two days."

"Whoa, has it really been that long? Well, you see… as I was walking home from the football game, I sat down to take a breather, and ended up sitting in a bed of fire ants." At this point, he was interrupted by the entire table bursting into laughter.

"You can laugh all you want," continued Cartman, "but it hurt like fuck!! Anyways, the next thing I know, I'm in some bitch's doctor's office, itching like a bitch!!"

"Well, I'm glad you're back," piped up Butters, from the end of the table.

"Thank you, Butters," replied Cartman. "At least _someone_ is happy to have me back." Cartman picked up his sandwich, but simply let it drop to his plate. His face adopted a look of confusion and shock. "Uh, guys… where's Kenny?"

Stan looked around, trying to find him. "Actually, Cartman's got a good point. Where the hell _is_ Kenny? We haven't seen him… for two days."

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman all looked at each other, wondering just where their friend Kenny could have gone…

-----

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. This was my first time even trying to write **_**South Park**_** fan-stories, so I hope I didn't bore you –too- much. Chapter two will be up soon.**


	2. Pain

**A/N: I usually consider my stories to be a success if they get one review; that's it, that's all I'm looking for is one review. This one's gotten six, **_**on the first chapter alone.**_** Holy shit, guys, y'all fuckin' rock. (If you can't tell, I really don't care about cursing, especially in a **_**South Park**_** fanfic, 'cause let's face it- in a **_**SP**_** story, swearing is just about mandatory… lol) A special thanks to the following people, who offered up their thoughts on chapter one:**

_**H.C.G**_** (first reviewer, thanks so much!!)**

_**Sweet Possum**_

_**Emerald's Shine**_

_**Loca Bambina**_** (who, BTW, writes some EXTREMELY kick-ass SP fanfics. Look her up sometime, esp. "What's Left of Me".)**

_**kookygurl82**_

_**ktkitty4**_

**So anyways, here's chapter two. Why exactly did Cartman even notice that Kenny was gone? Why does he care? What is the answer to life, the universe and everything in it?**

**A: The answer to the last question is 42. For the other two questions, you'll just have to read on.**

-------

_(picks up right where chapter one ended)_

"You alright, Cartman?"

Cartman snapped out of his thoughts; apparently, someone had just spoken to him. He turned to see who it was. It was Butters.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," retorted Cartman, with a dismissive wave of his hand. He picked up his sandwich again, but somehow, some way… he found his appetite was gone. So, he retreated back into his thoughts: _Was Kenny the one who dragged me over to the doctor's office? I thought I saw him, but… I figured it was just a hallucination or some shit… _

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, and Butters were deep in conversation. "Cartman doesn't seem like his usual self to you guys, does he?" asked Butters, as he bit into his burrito.

"No, he doesn't," replied Kyle. "He didn't even call me a 'stupid Jew' or anything even remotely along those lines."

"I know," said Stan. "It's like… I don't even know what could be wrong with him. Maybe he's finally coming to grips with the fact that he's the fattest kid in the entire school." Everyone had a laugh at this.

"Well, didn't he ask where Kenny was?" replied Butters, who had just finished his burrito. ("Damn, you eat slow!" was Craig's comment from across the table.) "Why would he even bother asking that? Don't Cartman and Kenny practically hate each other?"

"That's what I thought, too," said Jimmy, who had decided to join into the conversation.

Timmy put in his two cents as well: "Timmy!! Timmy!!"

"You're absolutely right, Timmy," replied Jimmy. "Those two don't s-seem very good c-c-candidates to be f-f-friends."

Kyle glanced over at Jimmy. "You know, this is really off-subject, but… how the heck can you understand what Timmy says? He just repeats his name over and over."

Jimmy looked a bit confused. "You know… I'm not exactly s-sure. I just c-can…"

"Anyways," said Stan, "we really do need to figure out what's wrong with Cartman. You don't think he'd just come out and tell us, do you?"

"Of course not," came a girl's voice from behind Stan and Kyle; they turned to see Wendy standing there. "Cartman's too much of a stuck-up jack-ass to admit something's wrong with him." Wendy looked around the table for a second, waving hello to Butters. Her face grew a bit concerned. "Where's Kenny?"

"None of us know," said Butters, who had just now picked up his other burrito. "He hasn't been to school for the past few days."

"Maybe he's just sick," suggested Wendy.

Stan slapped himself on the forehead. "Why didn't we think of that? Maybe he is."

"I don't think so," said someone from behind Wendy. Wendy turned and moved so everyone could see him. The speaker turned out to be Token.

He held up a mini TV. "You guys might want to see this."

-----

Soon, everyone was crowded around the TV; it showed a newscast from the local South Park news station. "A local boy was killed yesterday, after a drunk driver hit him and sent him flying onto a sidewalk. The boy was identified as nine-year old-"

Just then, the battery on the TV died, and the picture fizzled out.

"SON OF A BITCH!!" yelled Token, so loud that everyone in the lunchroom heard it. "I just charged this fucking thing this morning... Anyways, they were saying earlier that the kid was found with an orange parka laying on top of him…"

Everyone at the table gasped, and Cartman turned away from everyone else. Stan, however, was the first to speak: "You said the parka was _on top of _the kid that was found?"

"That's what the TV guy said," replied Token.

"If it was really Kenny-"

"Then why would his parka be on top of him?" Kyle said, finishing Stan's sentence. "Wouldn't he be wearing it?"

"Yeah," replied Stan. "But if it wasn't Kenny who got hit… then how'd his parka end up on top of the kid? Does he have more than one of those things?"

"I think so," Butters said. "His mom told me one time that Kenny was washing his clothes, then all of a sudden, Kenny appeared behind his mom- and he was still wearing that orange parka."

"So either that little kid _was_ Kenny, and that car somehow hit him hard enough to knock him out of his parka, or he _wasn't _Kenny, but Kenny just felt sorry for him, so he lay his parka over him, not knowing the kid had already kicked the bucket."

Everyone stared in amazement at Cartman, who hadn't spoken since the conversation about Kenny started. "Yeah, that's about right," replied Stan.

"I hope it wasn't Kenny," said Cartman, getting up and leaving the table. The whole table continued to be silent, stunned at this little revelation.

"Does Cartman actually _like_ Kenny?" asked Wendy.

"We don't know for sure," said Kyle. "Cartman's always picking on Kenny because his family is… well, they're not exactly rich. And Kenny's always commenting on how fat Cartman is. Though, there was that one time…"

"What time?" asked Butters.

"That time when Kenny had that muscular disease. Cartman was almost crying because he couldn't do anything about it."

"Yeah, and we thought _then_ that Kenny wasn't going to come back. But he did. So if that kid really was Kenny… then he has a good chance of returning. Doesn't he?"

"We can only hope," said Stan, reaching out and taking Wendy's hand. "We can only hope."

-----

After lunch, the boys headed back to Mrs. Garrison's classroom, for their math class. Soon, they were all seated. "Welcome back, class," said Mrs. Garrison. "Everyone, turn in your math books to page 93. Today, we'll be studying dividing fractions."

Everyone in the class groaned, except Cartman. "Kenny wanted to study these, so badly…" he murmured. Stan heard him, and a look of concern grew on his face. _So, Cartman really _does_ care about Kenny…_

Just then, the door to the classroom opened; there stood two South Park police officers. "We need to see Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, and Kyle Broflovski."

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman stood up. "What do you need us for, officers?" asked Kyle.

"We just need you to come with us," they said.

"Is this about Kenny?" asked Cartman.

The two cops looked at each other, clearly trying to figure out what to say. "I assume you three knew him."

"We did," said Stan.

"Fine then, come with us." Stan, Kyle, and Cartman followed the policemen out, Butters close in tow.

-----

Soon, they were at the police station. "You boys wait here," said one of the officers. Both policemen then disappeared, into the back of the station.

"Do you really think it's Kenny?" asked Kyle.

"Naw…" replied Stan. "Kenny has to still be alive. He's one tough sonofabitch, ain't he?"

"He sure is…" murmured Cartman. Just then, the two policemen reappeared. "Follow me," they said.

The boys followed them into a back room, where a stretcher lay covered in a white cloth. "Alright, boys, I'm going to lift the cover, and I need you to tell me if this is your friend Kenny."

Kyle noticed that Cartman had begun to shake. "You don't need all three of us. Cartman can tell us if it's him or not." The policeman nodded, and Kyle and Stan went back out into the waiting room.

It was only a minute before Cartman came back out; his face was completely pale, and his steps were shaky, like he was about to faint.

"Well?" asked Stan.

"I could barely recognize him…"

Stan and Kyle's faces grew pale, as well. "So…"

Cartman looked up at them, the tears now fully flowing. "Yeah, it was him. It was Kenny."

-------

**A/N: Kenny's gone. How are the boys going to handle this? Read on, my friends. Hope you enjoyed the new installment. Chapter three should be up probably in a few days.**


	3. Through Their Eyes

**A/N: Just to let you know, this chapter is going to be in multiple POV's (points of view, if you don't know the abbreviation). First is Stan's, then Kyle's, then finally Cartman's.**

**Butters' POV will be in the next chapter, once he actually finds out. Or maybe it will be the whole next chapter, I'm not sure yet.**

**-------**

Stan's POV

"Yeah, it was him. It was Kenny."

Those words shocked me to my very soul. Kenny... dead? It was about as impossible as Rosie O'Donnell (whoever the hell she was; I just hear my dad talking about her all the time) winning the Presidency. At least that's what we thought. Until now.

And I hate to say it, but myself and Kyle have always been quite apathetic about Kenny dying. Sure, the first time or two scared the living daylights out of us, but after that, we kinda accepted it as reality that no matter how many times he died, no matter how gruesome or painful his death was, that he was going to come back. That's why it scared the hell out of us, when he died after getting that disease. We honestly thought he wasn't coming back. And we knew that our group just... wasn't going to be the same without him.

I heard a voice, dim and unrecognizable, but honestly, I didn't care what he (maybe "he" was actually a she, I couldn't tell) had said. It was only when one of the police officers that had drove us down here appeared at my side, that I, at least for the moment, brought myself back into the world of the awake.

"What'd you say?"

Sure enough, it had been that police officer that had spoken to me. "I'm very sorry for your loss, son. Would you like me to take you home?"

I looked up at him, at least a bit grateful for his generosity. But something told me that I'd better just walk home. Maybe it was because I felt I just needed some time alone... "No, thank you," I replied. "I'll just walk home. My place isn't too far from here."

The officer looked at me sorrowfully, as though he were genuinely sad that Kenny had died, and that his friends were feeling this immense pain. And I could see that in his eyes, and I had to turn away. Not because I didn't want him to feel sorry for me, but... because his caring nature reminded me so much of Kenny. He was always standing up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves, and if you ever just needed a listening ear- well, Kenny was always there for you.

I turned away and began to walk towards the exit, when I felt a hand lightly touch my shoulder. I looked to the side, and saw Kyle standing there, tears in his eyes, as well. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, so all he could do was nod at me. I didn't mind though, because through that simple gesture, I could see that he was feeling the same pain that I was, and that... I could count on him. Kyle walked ahead of me, and turned towards his house. I did the same, though I had to go in the opposite direction of Kyle.

Where Cartman went after that, I don't know. And at the time, I frankly didn't care. Cartman never really cared all that much about Kenny- well, I take that back. It's not really that he didn't care about him, it's more that he never really showed it. But, I'm rambling...

I found as I walked along the road that I really didn't even want to go home, for some odd reason; if I went home, my parents would notice that I was down about something, then they'd ask me what was wrong, then I'd have to tell them... and that would mean facing the fact that Kenny was dead, that he wasn't coming back. And I just wasn't ready to do that, yet. Deep down inside, I kept hoping that this was all just a crazy dream, that in a moment I would wake up in my bed, and go out to meet Stan and Cartman, and Kenny would be there with them. Or maybe, I thought, he really had died, but this time was just like every other time, and he would sporadically appear out of nowhere, parka and all.

And so, I kept walking, fearing that this wasn't a dream, that he really was gone...

Finally, my legs could go no further, even though I'd walked much longer before. I sank to my knees, the tears flowing freely.

I'd never prayed before in my life (or at least, I couldn't remember ever doing so), but this seemed like as good a time as ever to start. So, I just started talking, asking him if Kenny really was dead, and if so, was he going to come back? I couldn't tell you how long I sat there, my knees punching an ever-growing dent into the earth beneath me- maybe ten minutes, maybe an hour. I couldn't tell. All I knew, was that when I finally got up and started to walk again, I had no more answers then than when I'd begun to pray...

Finally, I made it back to my house. For about fifteen minutes, I just sat out on our front porch steps, remembering all the great times we'd had with Kenny- going to Casa Bonita with Butters and Kyle (and Cartman, who had eventually almost ruined the whole thing for us), his help in procuring The List (and his joyfulness when he found out he was pretty high up on it), and all the times we'd just been hanging out, playing football or space pirates... And somewhere amidst my memories, I found fresh tears to cry.

I heard the door open, and I tried to brush my tears from my face. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a vain task, as new ones replaced the old tears that I swept aside.

"Stan?" That was my dad. "Are you alright?"

"If only you knew..." was all I could say. I knew my parents knew Kenny and his family- they'd met them a few times before. But somehow, I knew they wouldn't care. Not like I did.

-----

Kyle's POV

"Yeah, it was him. It was Kenny."

I swear to you, my heart stopped beating when I heard that. The first thing out of my mouth was almost, "Alright, Cartman. Stop with the joke. Was it him or not?" But just the look on his face gave me the answer to that question. Cartman may be a jackass about a lot of things, but he really did treasure his friendship with Kenny. I mean, in terms of "best friendship", it was pretty obvious that me and Stan were best friends. And since Butters didn't officially join our group until much later... well, the only one left for Cartman to befriend was Kenny...

Even so, I was shocked that I couldn't bring myself to cry, not at first. It was as though God were laughing at me, wondering if I would ever let the tears flow, but stopping them as soon as they were about to come. And I hated it; I knew that I cared about Kenny, and that this was the biggest shock of my life to that time, but... how did it look to everyone else? I looked at Stan- tears were forming in his eyes. I looked at Cartman- he was weeping openly, crying as though he'd never stop. I looked at Butters-

Wait, what the hell? Was that really Butters? I glanced over towards the door, and sure enough, Butters was standing there, glancing in. I think he recognized that it was me, because his face flushed, and he took off in the same direction he'd just come from. I saw him walk by again a bit later, though he didn't look into the window his second time past.

My next thought was about his parents. Everyone in our group knew that Kenny's family wasn't the richest family in South Park, so... how would they take this? Would they be happy, that they had one less mouth to feed? I shuddered at that thought- could any parents be that uncaring? Sometimes, though, poverty drove you to extremes...

I shook my head, trying to clear it of that line of thought. A song came into my head, unbidden: _I give it all to you, letting go of me... Nothing left to lose... It's already over now..._ I didn't think much of it at the time, but later, I would come to realize two things: one, that I'd never even heard of that song before it came to me. And second, that those words really described Kenny perfectly- he was always very giving and caring, though he didn't have very much to give anyways...

Again, I shook my head, more violently than before, trying to stop myself from thinking about Kenny. I felt somehow, that a walk would calm my soul, if even for a bit. As I walked towards the door, though, I saw Stan on his knees, shaking, and I knew that he was taking this far worse than I was. Stan had always been the mediator of our group, sticking up for Kenny when Cartman teased him incessantly about being poor. I knew he felt a sort of connection with Kenny, and I felt he must be taking this the hardest out of all of us, with maybe the exception of Cartman.

I diverted, and walked over to him. For a moment, I simply stood behind him, not exactly sure what to do. I mean, every other time Kenny had died, we just kinda brushed it off... Finally, I summoned my strength, and simply placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me, the tears now beginning to flow more freely. And I saw something in his eyes that I'd never seen before- a certain lostness, a pleading for some sort of understanding, as to what the hell had just happened. And I couldn't give him any answers, which hurt almost as much as knowing Kenny was dead- Stan was my best friend, and here I was, not able to help him through his pain... I opened my mouth to give him some sort of encouragement, but... nothing came out. I tried again to speak, but again with the same results. So finally, I simply let my eyes communicate what I needed to say: _We're all in pain, man. We all hate that Kenny's gone. And if you ever need someone to talk to... I'm here for you._ His eyes flashed briefly, and I knew he understood what I'd been trying to say.

It still hurt that I couldn't say anything, though, so I simply walked away, out the door, and into the outside world. It was nearing winter, but the temperature was still pretty warm out. Nevertheless, I felt so... cold. Like my soul had flown away, and I was just left with this shell of a body. Whether all people feel like that when someone they know and- dare I say it- love has died, I don't know. But that's how I felt. And I hated it.

I turned to the right, and just began walking towards my house. I simply wanted to go there, to lock myself in my room, to never come out. Kenny was gone, and I wasn't ready to face that yet. Kenny was a "security blanket" of sorts- when you were around him, you just felt safe, like no demonic hand could touch you. Now that he was gone... I knew, no matter what happened, that I could never feel safe again.

-----

Cartman's POV

"Yeah, it was him. It was Kenny."

I didn't want to say those words; who would? I wanted to tell them that, "No, it wasn't him, it wasn't even someone that we knew. Kenny's still out there somewhere." And I guess, I could have told them that. But, that would have just made it worse, when they found out the truth...

I expected myself to cry; I'd just lost my best friend. What was really unexpected, though, was _how much_ I was crying. It was as though I had a reservoir of tears in my mind, and the dam broke, and all the tears I'd built up over the years were flowing now. My knees gave out, and I fell to the ground. I expected some kind of fat-ass comment, about how my weight finally got to me- but it never came. I looked up, and I found out why- Stan and Kyle were crying, like I was.

A police officer came over to me, and placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. If I was going to go through this, I wanted to do it alone. Later, I would come to realize that may not have been the right thing to think. But at the time... I didn't want any more pain than I already had...

As I sat there, just... speechless, a thought came to my mind: _Hey, Kenny's died before, right? So, he'll just do the same thing that he always does- somehow, we'll all be somewhere, and Kenny will be with us, even though we just saw him die a few hours earlier..._ And I wanted that to be true, so badly. Yes, I gave Kenny a lot of shit for being poor, but he really was my best friend. That was one of the only true things I've ever shared with him- he really was my best friend. I kept saying that to myself- he really was my best friend.

Slowly but surely, though, I realized that he hadn't really gotten a chance to find that out for himself. I was always putting him down, or making fun of him, for _something_. And I didn't think anything of it at the time- nothing at all. It wasn't like I didn't care, though- I wanted to stop. He was just so... accepting, I guess. He didn't let anything get to him. He'd just shrug it off, and we'd all be friends again. I never stopped to think, though, was this hurting him? Did he really care, even though it seemed to the rest of us that he would just let it go in one ear and out the other...?

I don't even know how long I sat there, my eyes closed, my face buried in my pudgy hands, but when I looked up again... everyone was gone. Stan, Kyle, the police officers... they'd all left me there. I was surprised to realize, though, that I didn't really even care that much. I just got up, and went out of the police station, headed for my house.

It wasn't long before I got to my house, but I found that I didn't want to go in at all. So, I decided to do something that I hadn't done in a very long time, maybe not ever- I decided to go see Kenny's parents. They had to find out somehow, I guess. Kenny's house wasn't very far from mine, so it didn't take me very long to get there. I knocked on the door, and waited for a second. Kenny's dad answered.

"Yeah, what do you want?" I could smell the beer on his breath, and I didn't like it at all- I'm tolerant of a lot of things, but drinking I don't like.

"Uh, hey..." I said, not knowing exactly what to say. "I'm Eric Cartman, but you can just call me-"

"I know who you are." He took another swig of beer. "You're one of Kenny's friends."

I swallowed, hating what I was about to do. I told him the news, and waited for a response.

"He'll be back," was all he said, then shut the door.

I just stood there for a second, dumbfounded. Did his dad not realize that _his son had just died_! Then, the realization hit me- he didn't care. I didn't know what else to do now, except to head back to my house. When I got there, I went inside, and headed back to my room. I got up there, and went over to the window to look out. I noticed something odd on the sill, so I looked down to see what it was. When I recognized it, the tears flowed again, and I jumped onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow. There, sitting on my windowsill, was a single orange thread- one that I was sure had come off of Kenny's favorite parka...

**-------**

**A/N: This was the most depressing thing I've ever written... Well, hope you guys liked it. Chapter four will be up soon.**

**BTW, the song that "pops into" Kyle's head is "Already Over" by RED. I was listening to it while I was writing this piece, and I thought it'd be nice to put it in, seeing as the song kinda fits Kenny perfectly. So once again, RED owns that song, I do not.**


End file.
